I've never watched the show, but you've put into words the frustration I've felt all too often in similar situations. When it comes to responsibility, it seems that writers, both TV and film, pretty much never bother to sort out the different factors. A character either takes it all or shirks it all, according to the needs of the plot. And you've put into words why it drives me up the wall, even when the situation doesn't end badly. Grr!